3 Steps for Diffusing Rage in Teenage Boys

Boys Rageful Acting Out Can be Reduced in Minutes

Teenage boys can find anger a difficult emotion to handle. When it moves beyond anger to rage, however, young men require immediate intervention.

The three elements focused on in rage management may include isolating the boy from the trigger, promoting physical activity to address the body chemistry accompanying rage and applying concrete ideas to define the situation.
When an event triggers off your son’s rage, your actions in the first few moments not only cool off the situation, but also set up better patterns for future outbursts. Almost all boys can become angry, even over irrational events, bringing a regulated three step response will bring him back to a more leveled off emotional state.

Steps to Take When Your Son is Raging

A first step to take is to isolate the teenager from the event or situation. Whether this is getting him out of the room or into a car, quickly provide a physical separation between him and the trigger. This gives him a change of focus and will allow his mind to exercise some control over his behavior.

Many parents find it helpful to next move to a second step. Because anger is an emotion that feeds itself in teenage boys with endorphin and other biological agents, a cooling off period may be in order. In order to cool off, however, he may need to expend the built up energy.
In a study conducted by Elizabeth Susman, it was found that boys’ emotional states tie into the biochemical changes within their bodies. While this may sound paradoxical, having him walk around the block or spend some time doing push-ups may actually relax him by allowing an outlet for the biochemistry underlying the rage.
The most important step to take is going to be bringing the youth to clearly define the trigger that set off the rage in the first place. That is, to help him understand exactly what made him loose his temper. The more concrete and exact the definition, the better. Explore this with him until a satisfactory explanation can be found.

To subterfuge the rage, one has to bypass the emotional state and bring things to concrete terms. In other words, the teen needs to be able to define the event in simple terms. This process may take a while, especially when the rage has been intense or the teen is younger in his developmental process.
Once the trigger has been established, parents can begin to explore what elements could be controlled and what elements were beyond his control.

An Example of the Three Steps in Action

An example of this intervention in the face of rage would be follow these steps:

• Jake’s mom is picking up from football practice. As they walk to the car, a friend of Jake’s comes up and slaps him on the back. Jake erupts in rage, threatening and cursing at his friend and throwing his helmet to the ground.
• Jake’s mom recognizes the rage in her son, and immediately sends him to the car. On the way, Jake continues to seethe.
• Upon arriving home, Jake’s mom says, “Jake, I want you to run around the block as hard as you can and meet me back here in the driveway. No excuses. Do it now.”
• Jake complies and runs around the block arriving back at this house huffing and out of breath. “What did you do that for?”, asks Jake.
• “Jake,” Mom begins, “You were really out of control after practice. Can you tell me what you were so mad about? You were cursing and threw your helmet.”
• Jake begins by blaming his stupid friends. His mom bring his attention to the fact that his friends are an important part of his life and asks again what Jake was raging about.
• Jake finally says, “I missed three passes in practice. The slap on the back was from the guy who replaced me when I messed up.”
• Jake now had identified the trigger to his rage. He has made it through the process of going through the emotional phases and has had his rage diffused.

Bringing your son out of rage can be accomplished by removing him from the situation, helping him come to grips with the adrenaline and other body chemistry clouding his judgment and finally describing the trigger in concrete terms based in reality.
Once the triggers are identified, parents can discuss the trigger in unemotional terms and not have to fight through irrational rage. Following up with an exploration of anger can be helpful for avoiding the same trigger in the future.

Muslims Ragefully Mourn Bin Laden

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European media elites are sniffing their hardest over the barbaric Americans celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden.

Nicolas Demorand, editor of the left-leaning French daily Libération, on Tuesday bemoaned the “toxic rhetoric” of the campaign against terrorism. From that rhetoric, he wrote, stems “this base, uncomfortable joy, unprecedented in a democracy, that blew yesterday over the streets of New York.”
Even the editor of the centrist weekly L’Express, Christophe Barbier, cautioned, “To victory one must not add provocation.” He added: “To desecrate the cadaver or the memory of Bin Laden is to revive him. To cry one’s joy in the streets of our cities is to ape the turbaned barbarians who danced the night of Sept. 11.

As Jonathan Tobin writes, the European reaction of the elites says more about them than about us. But it also shows they have a rather short memory. Or a very selective one.
For a French newspaper editor to seriously state that such behavior is unprecedented in a democracy shows a shocking ignorance of his own country’s history. French democracy is built on much worse. La Marseillaise makes the US national anthem seem downright pacifist with its naked bloodlust.
Lines like “Qu’un sang impur Abreuve nos sillons” and “Que tes ennemis expirants Voient ton triomphe et notre gloire!”, “That their impure blood should water our fields” and “That your dying enemies should see your triumph and glory” certainly put the celebrations into perspective.

In more recent history, there is the treatment of collaborators in Europe after WW2. And the death of Mussolini as depicted in the photo on the left.

On 29 April 1945, the bodies of Mussolini, Petacci, and the other executed Fascists were loaded into a moving van and trucked south to Milan. There, at 3:00 am, they were dumped on the ground in the old Piazza Loreto. After being shot, kicked, and spat upon, the bodies were hung upside down on meathooks from the roof of an Esso gas station. The bodies were then stoned by civilians from below. The corpse of the deposed leader became subject to ridicule and abuse.

That is a somewhat polite summation of events. European elites might talk about values, but such talk is hollow. Nor would they seriously condemn what was described above. Many European leftists view it as a glorious moment. Their sneering at the American celebrations is a fact of emotional detachment. Nothing else. If it were Bush, they would be popping champagne faster than you could say Unilateralism.
But it’s an embedded narrative that Americans are the rough country cousins and European intellectuals are the progressive vanguard of civilization. A narrative that goes back to colonial times.
Had the execution of Bin Laden happened on Bush’s watch, there would be a vocal display of nauseated anger, condemnations of American barbarity and a few amateur art exhibits or two featuring Bush biting off the head of Bin Laden or some such thing. But it’s Obama, and they don’t quite know what to do with him. They aren’t about to peg him into the cartoon monster that Bush was turned into. They recognize that Obama is pandering ahead of an election to what they see as the baser instincts. And they feel that what happened reflects more on Americans, than on Obama.
But Obama has pandered far more to the sensibilities of Muslims. Getting Bin Laden was an act of political necessity, but pandering to his co-religionists is another matter. From the burial to the refusal to release the photos, the concern over what Muslims will think has dominated much of the decision making.
But despite all that the Muslim reaction is predictable. There are protests in Egypt outside the US embassy. European Muslims are none too happy either

A man who gave his name as Mohammed demanded to see photographic evidence. Asked how he might react to graphic photos of a dead bin Laden, shot in the head in the 40-minute raid, he said: “Well, I’ll know when I see them.”

“Americans are creating problems all over the world,” he added. “Why can’t they just leave Muslims alone?”
Indeed, why couldn’t Americans leave poor Bin Laden alone. It’s not like he was harming anyone who mattered. Like Mohammed.
Current events in Asia, Africa, the Middle East, Europe and North America though raise the question of why Muslims keep creating problems all over the world. Why can’t they just leave non-Muslims alone?
In London, there was also outrage over Bin Laden’s untimely bullet derived demise

In London, about 100 members of the radical Islamist group, Muslims Against Crusades (MAC), staged a protest and “funeral prayers” in honor of Osama bin Laden outside the U.S. Embassy.
The group shouted slogans such as “Freedom burn in hell” and “USA will pay” while waving banners stating “Jihad against crusaders” and “Sharia law for UK.”
Anjem Choudary, one of the leading MAC figures, said they were protesting against “injustices” committed by the United States: “The latest injustice is the assassination of an old man in his home in front of his family, Sheikh Osama bin Laden.”
He warned of future revenge attacks by militants.
“I believe al Qaeda will take revenge. The next operation I believe will be called ‘Operation bin Laden’ and will match the magnitude and character of the past.
“The philosophy of al Qaeda is to take the war to the enemy on their own homeland, so it will be in the West.”
The MAC protesters were confronted by about 50 members of the right-wing, anti-Islamist organization the English Defense League (EDL), with police having to keep the two chanting groups apart, amid minor scuffles.

Incidentally members of the EDL are in jail, but Choudary is a free man. It’s not like he’s a bigot inciting violence… not like those mean EDL people. Why can’t they and the Navy SEALS just leave Muslims like Bin Laden and Choudary alone?

The bin Laden supporters waved banners reading “US govt are the real terrorists” and US leaders were branded “murderers” by the radicals, who warned revenge attacks were “guaranteed”.
“It is only a matter of time before another atrocity—the West is the enemy,” Abu Muaz, 28, from east London, said.

Luckily law enforcement jumped into action and…

Officers confiscated an effigy of bin Laden being waved by the EDL supporters but police said they had no immediate reports of any arrests at the ongoing demonstration.

Well there problem solved.

A judge in Hamburg filed a criminal complaint against Chancellor Angela Merkel Friday for “endorsing a criminal act” because at a news conference in Berlin Tuesday she has said: “I’m glad that killing bin Laden was successful.”
The labor court judge, Heinz Uthmann, told Reuters that he believed Merkel’s comments violate German law. He said, however, he expected his complaint to end up in the rubbish bin.

Who needs a Choudary or a Bin Laden, when you’ve got a Heinz Uthman? Or the UN which is also on the case.

U.N. human rights investigators called on the United States on Friday to disclose whether there had been any plan to capture Osama bin Laden and if he was offered any “meaningful prospect of surrender and arrest.”

Over in Cairo’s Tahrir Square, heart of the new Arab Spring and love for democracy and puppies, there were also devoted human rights campaigners to be found

“They martyred Osama, who was able to stand up to the world’s harshest power,” Sheikh Hafez Salama Salama said at a stop along the way, where a small, eclectic crowd had gathered as usual in Tahrir Square, reliving the revolution. “We are all Osama bin Laden.”

Clearly someone never bothered to inform Sheikh Hafez Salama that he is a member of the Religion of Peace. But there were also more mainstream views being expressed.

We are very against violence,” said Ibrahim Haggag, 45, speaking of Muslims generally. “They could be framing him as an excuse to attack Arabs, an excuse to take their wealth.”
“The Jews were the ones who planned 9/11,” said Amina Mohame, 28. “If the U.S. is a civil society, why did they fund Bush’s wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?”

Who knew Cindy Sheehan and Alex Jones were so popular in Egypt?

The demonstrators rallied at the Fatih mosque in central Istanbul at the call of Islamist newspaper Milli Gazete and with support of the Islamist organization Ozgur-Der.
The mainly male protestors, with a small group of veiled women, brandished banners reading “Terrorist USA, warrior Osama” and chanted “God is great.”

Ozgur-der was one of the groups involved in the very peaceful Gaza flotilla and its members were on board the peaceful ship Mavi Marmara which at no point in time ever tried to kill anyone or support terrorists. Absolutely not.
They were just delivering cheese and missiles for the kids.
And Omar Bakri joined in on the fun from his new spiffy place in Lebanon.

Radical cleric Omar Bakri, on bail in Lebanon on charges including incitement to murder, has called for prayers to mourn Osama bin Laden in Lebanon and outside US embassies around the world.
“We call on our followers in Europe, Canada and especially Britain to pray for his soul outside American embassies,” Bakri, who was based in Britain for nearly two decades, told AFP.

Still more good news from Obama’s homeland in Indonesia, that tolerant place where ummm

Scores of Indonesian youths vow to avenge bin Laden’s death
Scores of Indonesian men rallied on Friday to publicly vow their readiness to sacrifice their lives to avenge the death of Osama bin Laden, in a sign of the al Qaeda leader’s popularity among hard-core Islamists in the most populous Muslim country.
“One hundred youths from Solo are ready to die to take revenge on the death of Osama,” declared Choirul, a cleric in Al Kaida Solo and also a member of the Islamic Defenders Front (FPI) which has a history of violence including attacks on bars, nightclubs and the offices of Indonesia’s Playboy magazine.

In addition the clerics are very upset about disrespecting the body of Sheikh Usama PBUH (Pigs Be Upon Him)

The Indonesia Ulema Council (MUI), which is the top Islamic body in Indonesia, has strongly criticized the sea burial of bin Laden, saying that “it was done with extraordinary hatred against him” and the body should have been buried in the earth.
“A Muslim, whatever his profession, even a criminal, their rites must be respected. There must be a prayer and the body should be wrapped in white cloth before being buried in the earth, not at sea,” MUI chief H. Amidhan told AFP.

So I’m confused. Was Osama a Muslim or not? We kept being told he wasn’t, but now it kinda seems like he might be.
Cut to Manilla, where the Muslim population that the Philippines are plagued by also made their peaceful sentiments known.

Officers used anti-riot shields to push back the marchers from Manila’s main mosque before they reached the boulevard leading to the seaside embassy compound after Friday’s noon prayers. The protesters later dispersed peacefully.
Protest leader and Islamic cleric Alim Jamil Yahya says he condemns the “brutal killing” of bin Laden and describes the al-Qaida founder’s burial at sea as a desecration of his body.
He says that although many Muslims did not agree with bin Laden’s methods, they still revered him as a martyr because he fought for freedom against oppression by “the satanic U.S. hegemony.”
The group also expressed support for Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi and called for an end to the NATO bombings.
They carried a banner saying “Stop genocide in Libya! Let Muslims rule their own land. US allies: Stay out of Muslim lands.”

Any chance of Muslims staying out of Christian countries like the Philippines. Or least not murdering people while living there?
Of course we cannot forget Pakistan. Our close ally in the War on Terror. A shining beacon of moderate Islam. A population that stands strong against all forms of extremism.

“Osama’s services for Muslims will be remembered forever,” said Abdul Qadir Looni, a senior JUI figure addressing the rally.
“He challenged the greatest Satan and usurper like America and awakened Muslims across the globe. This gathering pays tribute to him,” Looni said.
Hafiz Fazal Bareach, a former federal senator and senior party leader, said the US killing of bin Laden would create thousands of others like him.
“One Osama has been martyred and now thousands of Osamas will be born, because he created a movement against anti-Muslim forces which is not dependent on personalities,” Bareach said.
“America first martyred Osama and then desecrated his corpse,” he said, vowing that “jihad (holy war) will continue against America and its allies.”
Pakistan’s largest religious political party Jamaat-e-Islami called for protests across the country on Friday to denounce the US operation that killed bin Laden in the garrison city of Abbottabad earlier this week.

They’re shouting in Istanbul. They’re shouting in Cairo, in London, in Manilla, Indonesia, Pakistan and Lebanon. If they start shouting in Atlanta, then we’ll know we hit the motherlode.
And as the triumphant Arab Spring marches on across the Arab world, Yemeni protest leaders are asking their followers to leave pictures of Bin Laden at home. Not because they’re likely to bring any such pictures of course. But just in case they do.

“Do not raise pictures or banners or mention bin Laden, as the (Yemeni) regime is planning now to exploit this issue for its interests,” it added, urging recipients to spread the word.

Like showing that the protests are being dominated by Islamists. And the Arab Spring is Iran x 19
In Berlin, a planned BinLadenFest isn’t going according to plan

A radical German Muslim was set to hold a controversial open air rally in Frankfurt Saturday after a court overturned a ban, but a judge warned him and his supporters not to even utter the words ‘Osama bin Laden.’
City officials had earlier tried to stop the event in Frankfurt after Pierre Vogel, a former boxer who has converted to Islam, said he would recite a prayer for bin Laden.
Vogel, a preacher, says on his website he does not sympathize with bin Laden. However, authorities, who regard him as a menace, suspect his sermon, entitled ‘Islam’s Attitude to Terrorism,’ will be subtly supportive of extremism.

I refuse to believe that a Muslim event could be subtly supportive of extremism.