About the Rageful Child Personality Subself

Do you know a child or adult who seems perpetually sullen, surly, defiant, reactive, and/or explosively angry despite painful consequences? S/He may be often controlled by a common personality subself that can be called the "Rageful Child." Typical Inner Children (plural) know little of the world, often have unrealistic expectations, are easily frustrated, and cause primal emo-tions in the host person when activated.

 

    An overactive Rageful Child subself can unintentionally cause their own stress by alienating, offending, frustrating, and/or intimidating other people and subselves. An overactive Rageful Child usually indicates (a) a low-nurturance environment, (b) wounded, unaware caregivers, and (c) possible hormonal imbalances. The emotional intensity and disruptive behaviors of this young subself can frighten other people and subselves (e.g. the Scared Child), and cause them to avoid triggering it. This and other factors can promote a fear-based personality and toxic personal and family anger policies . 

 

    The Rageful Child can ally with a Rebellious / Defiant Child, a Selfish ('Egotistical') Child, and some Guardian subselves like the Warrior / Amazon, Entitled One, Magician, and Abuser to create situational feelings of power and security, and protect scared Inner Children. In an anti-grief environment, this subself can help the host person by expressing repressed anger related to major losses (broken bonds).

    Lesson 1 in this non-profit Web site offers perspective, options, and re-sources to soothe and protect Inner Children, harmonize all subselves, and help reduce these personal and family stressors.

Everyone has days when their emotions get the better of them, but when the emotion is anger and the person displaying it is your boss, it can be very difficult to deal with. A boss who is not in control of her emotions and becomes angry easily and regularly can leave employees living in fear and make the entire workplace an uncomfortable environment. Protect yourself from a raging boss with careful planning and a willingness to stand up for yourself.

Instructions:

1. Determine if the angry outburst is an isolated incident or an ongoing problem. If the angry behavior is out of character for your boss, you probably do not need to do anything. Odds are good that in due time, he will apologize for losing control. If the anger is a frequent, ongoing issue, you will need to deal with it directly.

2.Speak to your boss. Ask your boss to make some time to talk, and address the issue directly. Explain that her anger is making you uncomfortable and you would like to see if there is a way to deal with the problem together. It's possible that your boss does not realize how bad the situation is and will want to rectify it.

3. Go to the next level. If your boss is not receptive to discussing the problem, contact your boss's supervisor and request a meeting to discuss the problem. Explain the situation honestly and ask for assistance in resolving the problem.

 4. File an official complaint. Find out what your company's policy is for filing a complaint against a superior, and follow it to the letter. Sticking to company policy while dealing with the anger issue is the best way to protect yourself.

5. Do your job to the best of your ability. While you are following the steps your company has laid out for addressing an issue with a superior, be sure to do everything you can to avoid giving your boss anything further to be angry about. Avoid confrontation, meet all of your deadlines and be polite and respectful in your dealings with your boss.

6.  Look for another job. Although there is no reason you should have to leave because your boss has an anger problem, it is best to be prepared and realistic. If your company cannot help you with an appropriate solution, it is probably time to move on.